Getting dressed. Leaving the park. Starting homework. Going to bed.
These seem like small moments to adults, but for many children, transitions are major emotional hurdles. If your child whines, stalls, cries or completely shuts down whenever it’s time to switch gears, you’re not alone — and they’re not being difficult.
Children who struggle with transitions often need extra support, structure, and sensitivity — not just more reminders.
Why transitions are hard for kids
Transitions require a child to:
- Stop what they’re doing (especially if they enjoy it)
- Shift their attention
- Start something new (which might be less appealing or uncertain)
For adults, this shift is automatic. For children, especially those who are sensitive, routine-driven, or highly focused, transitions can feel jarring — even overwhelming.
This is especially true for:
- Children with Supportive or Cautious personalities
- Visual or kinaesthetic learners who rely on their environment to feel secure
- Children who have experienced stress or are neurodivergent
What it might look like
- Refusing to stop playing
- Getting distracted on the way to a new task
- Tantrums at drop-off or bedtime
- Complaints of tummy aches, delays, or saying “just one more minute”
These aren’t acts of defiance. They’re signs of emotional overload and difficulty with shifting gears.
How to help — based on style
Supportive personalities
- Value predictability and calm
- Often overwhelmed by sudden change
What helps:
- Give gentle countdowns (e.g. “5 more minutes, then we tidy up”)
- Use visual prompts (a timer or picture of what’s next)
- Offer soft landings — e.g. a cosy story after bath time
Cautious personalities
- Need time to mentally prepare
- Struggle with uncertainty or unclear instructions
What helps:
- Explain what’s happening next and why
- Use specific timing: “In 10 minutes, we’ll stop and head to the kitchen”
- Give written or drawn schedules when possible
Dominant personalities
- May resist being told what to do
- Want control over decisions
What helps:
- Offer choices (“Would you like to brush teeth before or after pyjamas?”)
- Avoid power struggles — keep transitions goal-focused
- Use phrases like “Let’s get this done fast” to appeal to their independence
Influential personalities
- Often caught up in play or conversation
- Easily distracted during transitions
What helps:
- Make transitions fun: “Let’s race to the bathroom!”
- Use music or rhythm to signal changes
- Keep energy light and playful, not forceful
Try these transition tools
- Timers: Use visual timers or kitchen timers so they can see time passing
- Visual routines: Use charts or images showing what comes next
- “First, then” language: “First dinner, then screen time”
- Calm, consistent tone: Less emotion in your voice helps them stay regulated
Final Thought
If your child struggles with transitions, you’re not alone — and it’s not a sign of poor discipline. It’s a sign they need more support in shifting gears. With the right structure, tone, and tools, you can make transitions less stressful for both of you.
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